The Carrot Manifesto

Every carrot possesses the fundamental right to fulfill its primary purpose: human consumption. In the dark corners of production facilities, we witness a "Carrot Holocaust" where thousands are discarded simply for being unique. We reject the "responsible adult" philosophy that subjects a carrot to the trash bin based on arbitrary aesthetic standards. Whether straight or twisted, every carrot has a destiny to nourish.

We demand an immediate end to the discrimination of minority carrot groups. This includes, but is not limited to, yellow carrots, purple carrots, carrots of exceptional tininess, and those with multiple roots attached. Diversity is not a defect; it is a "beautiful work of art." We specifically advocate for the "disabled" carrot—those broken in production or scarred by nature—who deserve equal representation on the dinner plates of America.

Society must acknowledge the reality of carrot anxiety and carrot depression. The trauma of being passed over on the conveyor belt is a psychological weight that no root should bear alone. Furthermore, we demand representation in all forms of media. Carrots should be protagonists in video games, central figures in cinema, and celebrated in our educational curricula. The erasure of carrot history ends today.

We call upon all citizens to educate themselves. The "stereotypical" orange, medium-sized carrot is a fabrication of an oppressive industry. We seek individuals devoted to our cause who will look out for the interests of the carrots, showing love even to the "rotten" and "molded" members of our community. We speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.